


Jealous

by kaydeefalls



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-04-30
Updated: 2002-04-30
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaydeefalls/pseuds/kaydeefalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Billy is frustrated, Orli is annoyed, Lij meets an actress, and Dom is jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> My first RPS fic. God help us all.

"In New Zealand there was this really cool girl Madeleine Sammy - if this ends up in the magazine I hope her name goes in because I lost her phone number - we all went and saw this play she was in and I thought she was really attractive and lovely and a brilliant actress. I was blown away. One Saturday I decided to drive for four hours to spend some time with her. She was essentially a stranger." --Elijah Wood, from an interview in Arena magazine

* * * * *

It was Billy's own damn fault. He'd figured he was looking for trouble by sitting between them, but they'd been a little late getting to the theater and he'd been joking around with Dom. It was instinct to follow him into the row and plop down in the empty seat next to him. Then Elijah slid in on Billy's other side, and they hadn't had any time to discuss seating or readjust themselves before the house lights went dim. Besides, they were watching a play, right? It shouldn't matter who sat where.

 _And now I'm paying for it_ , Billy thought ruefully.

It didn't help that the play itself wasn't too great. The lead actress was amazing, but she was the exception, and the script definitely could've used a few more rewrites. Still, it would have been enjoyable if Billy had been sitting somewhere else.

It took him a while to notice. When the leading lady was onstage (her name was Madeleine Sammy, according to the program), everything was fine. Her talent -- and figure -- captured everyone's attention. And the play wasn't _terrible_ when she went off. Plus, it was the four hobbits and Orli. They always had a good time no matter where they went.

But about halfway through the first act, Billy felt an odd tingling sensation on the side of his neck that could only mean someone was staring at him. Or rather, someone was staring around him. If he shifted just a little, he could catch Elijah's bright blue gaze shooting past him. The kid was looking at Dom again.

It only lasted a moment before Elijah focused his attention back on the play. But then Billy felt the tingling on the other side of his head, and knew that Dom was sneaking looks at Lij.

The attractive actress came back onstage, then, much to Billy's relief. But he knew that as soon her scene ended, the awkward glances would start up again. He sighed and slouched down in his seat, resigning himself to another hour and a half of that increasingly annoying tingling sensation.

*

Dom's eyes followed Elijah as the younger man paced back and forth, sucking on a cigarette. _Nervous little guy_ , Dom thought to himself. He suppressed a grin. Lij probably would not appreciate being laughed at. His patience was already at an end.

"Calm down, hobbit," Orlando called to him. Unlike Dom, Orli was openly snickering at the current state of Elijah's nerves.

"I _am_ calm," Elijah whined petulantly. "I just want to get this over with." He glanced at his watch. "Twenty minutes. Does it really take a person twenty minutes to change out of costume?"

"Takes us hours," Dom pointed out.

Elijah scowled, tossing the cigarette onto the pavement and scuffing it out with his foot. "That's different. We're hobbits."

They were all standing outside the theater, waiting for the lead actress to emerge from the stage door. When the play ended, Elijah had immediately started raving about her: how great she had been, how she'd been the only worthwhile thing about the whole damn show, how pretty she was. Dom had muttered that if Lij liked her so much, why didn't he go tell her so? When Elijah's face went pink, Orli turned it into a dare. Then Billy bet him a week's worth of Playstation privileges that he wouldn't be able to carry on a conversation with her for more than five minutes. The Playstation was one of very few distractions during the hours of tedium known as Feet, and the prospect of Billy having control over it for a whole week had decided the issue. This all somehow led up to a ridiculously nervous Elijah chainsmoking outside a theater at eleven PM.

The stage door finally opened, and the actress was there. Orli did a fair impression of the Cheshire Cat, and Billy gave Elijah a small shove. Dom suddenly wished that the little joke had never gone this far. It occurred to him that he really, really didn't want Lij to meet this actress.

This reaction didn't quite make sense to him. After all, he and Elijah went to bars all the time in the hopes of picking up girls. Lij had an oddly magnetic personality, and the younger women especially seemed to flock to him, although more often than not it was Dom who took one home while Elijah wound up sleeping alone. Still, the thought of those girls with Elijah had never particularly bothered Dom before. He usually found it amusing, actually.

But this actress person was giving him a bad vibe. The random chicks at bars were simply outlets for typical guy horniness, but Dom had never heard Elijah speaking so enthusiastically about a girl before -- especially not one he'd never even met. It was odd. It made him feel faintly sick to his stomach. In fact, he realized abruptly, he was jealous.

Of the actress.

Oh, no. That would mean acknowledging _those_ feelings, the ones that Dom refused to even admit to himself. Sure, Dom knew that he was attracted to guys as well as girls, and that part of it didn't bother him -- but not Lij. No way could he be attracted to Lij. Okay, maybe attracted to him, but that was it, just sheer physical attraction. No emotion behind it. None. At all.

Dom knew that if he glanced at Elijah just now, he would lose this internal battle completely, and that wouldn't do. That would ruin a good friendship. So he stared at the ground instead.

Elijah felt Billy shove him, and stumbled forward. Billy saw him turn back, saw the look of desperation and please-get-me-out-of-this he shot at Dom. But Dom wasn't paying attention, and didn't help him. "You're staaaalling!" Orli taunted in a singsong voice. Elijah glared at the elf, then focused his gaze back on Dom. Billy, still watching, noted the apology in Elijah's eyes, the inexplicable _softness_ , before the kid sighed and trotted off after the actress.

Billy glanced over at Dom to gauge his reaction, but Dom had missed Elijah's last look. He had turned away, frowning to himself, and started walking glumly back to the car where Sean was still waiting patiently for them all. He seemed uncharacteristically downcast.

Billy took it all in with interest, although none of it particularly surprised him. He would give it some careful thought later. At the moment, however, he was most concerned with following Elijah. After all, a week of Playstation would be decided by the length of this upcoming conversation between Mr. Wood and Ms. Sammy.

*

Fuck them. Fuck Dom and his stupid comment, fuck Orli and his stupid dare, and fuck Billy and his stupid Playstation bet. _And most of all,_ Elijah admitted ruefully, _fuck myself for ever mentioning that stupid actress in the first place_.

It wasn't supposed to get out of hand like this. But he'd been getting increasingly frustrated all night long, and the actress had been his only distraction from that frustration, so he'd played it up a little. He really had thought she was a great actress, and even found her somewhat attractive, but he wouldn't have talked about her at such length if it weren't for the frustration thing.

He'd felt ignored all evening, and Elijah hated it when people ignored him -- and by "people," he meant Dom. It had started in the car on the way to the theater. The five of them had crammed themselves into one car, and Elijah had immediately called shotgun. Sean was driving, so that left Dom, Billy, and Orli stuffed together in the back seat. Elijah had only wanted a seat to himself. He hadn't realized how out of the loop he would feel, with the other three jostling each other and joking around in the back. He'd just sat there silently, staring out the window and wishing he could think of a way to include himself in the conversation. They'd gotten to the theater a little late, and Dom and Billy were still talking to each other a mile a minute, leaving Elijah to trail after them. And then there was the play. Normally, when the group saw a movie or something, Elijah and Dom would sit together and spend the entire show poking each other and making comments about what they were watching. But this time, Billy was sitting between them; and worse, Dom didn't even seem to care. Elijah had been sneaking looks at him all night, and not once had Dom so much as glanced over. At intermission, it had been Dom and Billy talking again, and then another act of Elijah feeling horribly ignored.

Maybe his frustration wasn't quite logical, but it still irritated him no end.

So he'd started raving about the actress. Partly because she really had been amazing, but mostly because he wanted to make Dom jealous.

He was trying not to think too hard about why Dom being jealous was so important to him. But again, logic didn't have much to do with anything tonight. Logic would have had him refusing Billy's bet. And if he had done that, he wouldn't be trotting after this actress. But there you have it.

"Um, excuse me?"

She turned around, saw him, looked vaguely confused. "Yes?"

His mouth was very dry. "You're, um, Madeleine Sammy, right?"

She nodded. "Yes..."

"I just saw you in your play, I thought you were amazing." He wanted to smack himself on the head for lack of originality, but instead stuck out a hand and plastered on his trademark smile. "I'm Elijah."

Madeleine shook his hand, a bemused smile flickering across her face. "Delighted to meet you, Elijah. You're American, aren't you?"

He used a passable British accent for the movie, but he usually slipped out of it when he wasn't in front of a camera. Besides, even British would stick out here, and he'd never quite managed the New Zealand lilt. He'd been working on it for a while. Accents fascinated him. He figured that none of this would be of interest to the actress, though, so he stuck to the basics: "Yeah, I am."

"What brings you here, may I ask? Sightseeing?" Elijah had to give her credit; she could've easily blown him off by now. The attempt at pleasant conversation was encouraging.

"I'm filming a movie here, actually," he replied. Her eyes sparked a little, recognition one actor gives another.

"Really? Anything I might know?"

"Uh, ever read _The Lord of the Rings_?" He was starting to feel foolish. The prospect of explaining hobbits to this woman was not very appealing. Elijah began wondering if it was possible to change the subject without confusing or annoying Madeleine.

"Yes, once, but that was several years ago, I don't remember much anymore." In other words, _no, I haven't_. "Have you done any other films?"

Had he done any other films. The child star in him wanted to go off and sulk. His more mature, worldly side reminded the child star that this wasn't America and he wasn't exactly a big name in popular culture at the moment. "A couple, yeah." Understatement of the year.

"Anything I would know?" she asked delicately, in the tone of someone who had encountered actor's pride before and didn't want to offend it now.

Elijah briefly considered mentioning _Flipper_ , then rethought it. If by some chance she _had_ seen it -- well, he wasn't sure he wanted her to associate him with that particular movie. Swimming with dolphins had been all very well at the time, but the script? He shuddered inwardly. "I'm not sure if any of them made it out here" -- which was partly the truth, anyway. She nodded, smiling blandly. She'd probably been planning to use that excuse herself if he'd mentioned a film she hadn't seen. Actorspeak. Ugh. He knew there was a reason he'd always avoided the big Hollywood party scene.

It was very awkward. Elijah would have politely ended the conversation right then, but the five minutes weren't up yet and a week of Playstation was still hanging in the balance.

"So," he said. "How long is your play running?"

"Just to Sunday, actually," she replied.

"Looks like I made it just in time."

"Yeah." She glanced at her watch. "I hate to be rude, and it's been lovely chatting with you, but..."

"Wait!" His mind was racing. There were still a good three minutes to go. He said the first thing that popped into his head. "I've been wondering.... That scene, where the main guy is trying to stall you by telling jokes?"

Madeleine rolled her eyes, smiling wryly. "Yeah, that scene that should have been rewritten to make the jokes at least somewhat humorous."

Elijah smiled. "Right. Well, how do you keep laughing? I'm an actor, I've been in movies where I've had to laugh for take after take, but usually we all kid around between the takes so that we can still laugh at the same stale joke. But on a stage, it's night after night of the same thing, and no time to work yourself into the right mood. How do you do it? You didn't sound fake at all."

It was a stupid question, but it worked. She grinned, really _grinned_ , for the first time. _Hey_ , he thought to himself. _She's actually pretty._ He felt a little bit better about the whole business. He briefly fantasized about sleeping with her, just to spite Billy and his stupid bet, then discarded the notion. He didn't really want to fuck her -- well, no more than he would want to fuck any pretty girl.

He wondered if sleeping with Madeleine would make Dom jealous.

Fortunately, she interrupted that train of thought. "It's silly, really," she said, and it took him a second to remember what she was responding to. Laughing at bad jokes onstage. Right. "There's this ridiculous little game I play in my head...."

"Do tell." Elijah flashed her his favorite guaranteed-to-make-girls-swoon smile. The one that usually made them forget, albeit briefly, that he was short, sorta geeky, and barely nineteen years old.

She smiled back. "All right, but I'm warning you, it's very silly." Well, so much for the killer smile. She spoke to him as though he were a kid. "You take the line the other actor is saying, and in your mind you replace a choice word with 'pants.'"

"Excuse me?" He hadn't been expecting this.

Madeleine looked a little embarrassed, but she kept going. "Well, take the movie you're shooting now. What's one of your lines?"

They had just been shooting some scenes from Amon Hen, so Elijah said the first line he could think of. "'It would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart.'"

She nodded. "Good one! So, 'it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my pants.'"

Madeleine had been right. This was very, very silly. Ridiculous. Childish. Stupid. No mature adult would find it at all amusing. _Oh, what the hell_ , Elijah thought. _I'm only nineteen, after all. I'm supposed to be immature sometimes._

He decided that this game was the coolest thing he'd ever heard of, and told her as much. She then glanced at her watch again, and apologized profusely, saying that she was terribly sorry but she really did need to go, and he didn't try to stop her.

Billy was overjoyed. The conversation had lasted exactly four and a half minutes. Too bad Elijah hadn't managed to prolong it for another thirty seconds.

Elijah didn't care too much. He had a habit of catching onto new ideas and flying with them, usually driving everyone else crazy in the process, and he had a feeling that this pants game would more than make up for the lack of Playstation. He crowded into the back of the car (Billy called front seat this time) and quickly explained the game to them. Sean and Billy rolled their eyes, and Orli looked gleeful, but Dom just muttered something under his breath about how he _knew_ there was a reason that actress had given him a bad vibe.

*

Orlando Bloom was allowing himself to feel the tiniest smidgen of relief. It was Friday afternoon, and after almost a week, it seemed like the pants game was dying out at last.

At first, it had been amusing. After Lij explained it to the group after the play last Friday night, they had spent the weekend trying it out on just about everything. Dialogue they had already shot, fragments of scenes they knew were coming up, excerpts from The Book, excerpts from almost any other book lying around, casual conversation -- nothing escaped the pants game. Especially not after the Brits explained to Elijah and Sean that 'pants' was the British equivalent of American 'underwear.' Orli clearly remembered the glow in Elijah's eyes when he'd heard that, and the mischievous grin that danced across his face.

How could he forget? Those eyes and that grin had been tormenting Orli all week. He'd gotten sick of the game when the weekend was over and they went back to filming, working extra hard because Peter had given them two days off instead of just one. But Lij just wouldn't quit. On Monday, he'd mainly used the game to bother Billy, as revenge for the Scot's unarguable right to the Playstation. That had been fine with Orli.

But hobbits never fought amongst themselves for long, and by Tuesday they had joined forces again. Against the elf. Orli didn't have many lines, but it seemed like every single one was a prime target for the pants game. It irritated the hell out of him. He'd never thought the day would come when he would rather work with the blue screen than the hobbits.

So now it was Friday afternoon. A few more long hours, and the day would be over, and tomorrow was Saturday, and Saturday was their day off. Day off meant that Orli could avoid the hobbits all he wanted -- although he knew he'd probably wind up with them in a pub somewhere. But still.

And the game was finally dying. All he had to do was make it for the next few hours.

Orli leaned against a tree and studied the pages he had just been given. The Fellowship was shooting a few last scenes in Amon Hen. All right, this was a cute little scene, they had just left the boats, hey look, he even had a few lines of dialogue with Viggo....

Oh.

Oh, no.

Orli started hurling mental curses at Peter Jackson. The director usually kept up with the basic doings of his lead actors, so he would know if any problems came up. He never intruded into their personal lives, just kept track of things. He almost definitely knew about Elijah's latest game.

So how could he give Orli this line?! Fucker. Orli glanced around. Maybe they could film this scene quick, in one take, before Elijah wandered over to watch. The kid wasn't in this shoot, he might decide to grab a snack, chat with Sean Bean, anything.

Fuck fuck fuck, he was already watching.

"All right, guys, let's get started!" Peter called. Orli shot him a quick death glare before becoming Legolas.

After a moment, Orli allowed himself to hope. They would have to shoot the scene a number of times before Peter was satisfied. Maybe Elijah would get bored and wander away. Maybe he had given up on the game entirely. Maybe he would pay more attention to Dom's one line than to Orli's four. Orli definitely perked up at this last thought. Hey, it was a pretty reasonable assumption, given the looks those two had been sending each other for the past few weeks -- or was it months? Yeah, with a little luck Elijah would be so busy watching Dominic that he wouldn't even notice that Orli _had_ any dialogue.

The hope was short-lived. They paused between takes, and Orli immediately noticed that Dom and Billy were grinning widely at him. When he saw Elijah walking over to him, he resigned himself to his fate. The kid had an all-too-familiar glow in his eyes.

"Orli," Lij said solemnly, and Orli sighed. He knew what was coming.

"Yeah?"

Elijah grinned with as much of a leer as his boyish face could manage. "A shadow and a threat has been growing in my pants."

He could hear Billy snickering, and Elijah was starting to giggle, face mere inches away from Orli's. He shook his head. They would be teasing him about this for the rest of the afternoon. "I guessed as much," he muttered.

Elijah's bright blue eyes sparkled as he raised an eyebrow suggestively. "So, if you need any help with that threat in your pants...." He giggled again when Orli visibly blanched. "Oh, poor Orli." Elijah kissed the elf lightly on the cheek. "He always gets the worst lines."

Neither of them noticed as Dom's grin faltered a bit.

*

Peter had arranged a small, private screening of the hobbit scenes so far, just for the four hobbit actors. It was a little farewell party of sorts; Elijah, Sean, Dominic, and Billy had been working together closely, since six weeks before filming even started, and on Monday they would be split up for the first time. Lij and Sean would be off on their own, filming Mordor scenes, while Dom and Billy would go off to film scenes from the beginning of the second movie, when Merry and Pippin were captives of the Uruk-hai. The two pairs would be separated for weeks, shooting on very different locations.

The screening was also Peter way of apologizing. He'd promised them the whole weekend off again, then realized that there were a few scenes he needed to reshoot before they all left, so they would have to work on Sunday.

"Bloody stupid idea," Elijah complained privately to Dom. "We've seen most of these already, and it doesn't feel right to have a screening for just the four of us."

"Just the four of us?" Dom repeated indignantly. "We're the hobbits, remember? Since when have we needed anyone else?"

"Oh, you know what I mean."

"No appreciation of your friends."

"Ah, fuck off."

"Little bugger."

"Cunt."

"Would the two of you cut it out?" Sean asked, exasperated.

Elijah grinned impishly. "Yes, Mom." Sean glared at him, and he rolled his eyes. "Oh, come off it, you know you wish Christine were here." Lij strolled over to Sean, lazily throwing an arm across the older man's shoulders.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I am merely illustrating the senselessness of a private hobbit screening." Elijah looked over at Dom and stuck his tongue out at him.

Dom wasn't sure whether he wanted to give Elijah a good smack over the head, glare at Sean, or simply grin foolishly. He couldn't make up his mind, so his ears burned red instead.

Fortunately, no one noticed. Or unfortunately. Damnit, did Lij really have to keep cuddling with Sean? Little bugger. Dom couldn't resist taking a jab at the kid. "Well, who else d'you want here? I'm sure you wish you could help Orli with that threat in his pants -- or was it _your_ pants?" He tried to hide his bitterness, but the little kiss he'd witnessed was frozen in his mind.

Elijah's face went blank for a second, then he gave a little laugh. "That's it, the pants game is ending now."

"About time," Sean muttered.

"Aw, poor Orli," Billy commented.

"Fuck off!" Elijah whined.

"Oh, _that's_ original. Didn't just hear you use that line thirty seconds ago or anything." Dom.

Elijah made a strangled noise of protest, and might have prepared a really snappy comeback if Peter hadn't chosen that moment to start the screening.

Dom felt faintly satisfied with himself. It wasn't every day that a person actually shut Elijah up. Or, at least, left him temporarily speechless. On the other hand, Lij was now miffed, and ignoring him steadily. Sigh.

They'd all seen most of these clips before. The first ones, especially -- they were from the first day of filming. But every other time, Dom had been watching himself onscreen, nervously. It was a habit; no matter how many times he was in front of a camera, he panicked the first time he watched the film, be it a television show or a major motion picture. How would he look, did he screw anything up, was it terrible, should he retire from acting and be an architect or something.

But he'd seen these bits of film enough times to feel confident about his own performance. This time, he vowed, he would focus on characters other than Meriadoc Brandybuck.

So, of course, he couldn't take his eyes off Frodo Baggins. No emotional attachment. Right. Well, Elijah _was_ playing the main character, after all. It was natural to watch him more closely than the others. Nothing to do with how well his ass looked in those velvet trousers. Course not.

"Get off the road!" Screen-Lij shouted, panicking. Awww. So cute. The hobbits all jumped over the oversized tree-root, yeah, he remembered that. Sam, Merry, Pippin.... _Oh_.

Now _that_ was interesting. Dom hadn't ever noticed _that_ before. Funny, he didn't remember anything in the script about Frodo slapping Pippin's arse as they scrambled into hiding. And yet, he was sure he'd seen it.

Dom glanced over Billy to Elijah. The kid was snickering to himself. He looked at Billy. Billy was shaking his head slightly, suppressing a grin. He looked back at Elijah, and felt a familiar queasy sensation building in the pit of his stomach.

Billy heard Dom exhaling sharply. He looked over at his friend, and saw that the younger man was glaring at Elijah. Dom slouched down in his seat, and then stared back at the screen pointedly, his face stony. Then Elijah glanced over at Dom, and his bright blue eyes flickered swiftly through a set of emotions: confusion, realization, and then, oddly, _satisfaction_. And then guilty apology.

Billy sighed. Why was he always witness to these silent exchanges while Dom was always oblivious? Then he cursed violently under his breath. He'd just realized that he was sitting between them. Again. And yup, the tingling sensation started up again, right on cue.

*

Post-screening drinking fest. It was amazing how quickly a bit of alcohol could temporarily erase earlier tensions. Dom and Elijah were both at their party best, joking around with each other as usual, any hard feelings forgotten. Just as well, because Elijah wasn't exactly sure what the hard feelings had been about to begin with.

At least Dom hadn't been ignoring him tonight. Far from it, in fact. That was something. Elijah was willing to overlook the screening weirdness. In fact, he was willing to forget about it entirely. It might help him stop thinking about that flash of guilty satisfaction. And, for the record, he still had _no_ rational interest in making Dom jealous.

Problem is, those irrational things just wouldn't get out of his mind.

"You know what I want right now?" Dom asked suddenly. Billy and Sean had gone off for more drinks, and he was staring wistfully into his glass.

"What?" Elijah asked.

"Chicken pot pie." Dom saw Lij's raised eyebrow, and laughed. "My mum makes the best chicken pot pie. Dunno where she got the recipe, it's just one of those things she always makes, y'know?"

"I think everyone's mother has a dish like that."

"Yeah, I'll bet. Anyway, it was my favorite meal, when I was a kid. Used to beg her to cook it for me all the time. I dunno why I was thinking about it now. Just missed it all of a sudden, you know?" Dom shrugged, a little embarrassed. "Just thought a chicken pot pie would taste really good tonight."

"Going-on-location syndrome," Elijah diagnosed solemnly. "Happens every time you're about to shoot somewhere totally different. The fear of the unknown. No idea what kind of shit you're gonna have to eat where you're going."

Dom laughed. "You just made that up, you cunt."

"No, I'm serious," Elijah insisted. "It's a standard Hollywood term. Longing for the familiar. Doesn't always apply to food, but there you go."

"Really?" Dom dreamed of making it big, once _The Lord of the Rings_ was over. He absorbed anything 'the pros' -- Lij, the Seans, Ian, Viggo -- would tell him about life in L.A. "You get it, too?"

"Hell yeah. You know what I dream about? Pizza. American pizza, not the crap you get out here." Elijah's face took on a dreamlike quality. "What I'd give for one good slice, all the toppings."

"All toppings? Even anchovies?"

"Mmm, yeah, even anchovies?"

"What about pineapple? I hear you Yanks put pineapple on your pizzas."

"Yeah, pineapple too."

"That's fucking disgusting, mate."

Elijah laughed. "Fine, maybe just pepperoni then. I've never had pineapple on a pizza before, by the way. Never even seen it. And believe me, in California you see some weird foods."

Sean and Billy came back over. "Hey, Sean," Dom called. "You ever get going-on-location syndrome?"

Sean looked at him for a second, then at Elijah. Lij's eyes were wider than usual -- whether from feigning innocence or holding back laughter, Sean couldn't tell. He chuckled. "Is that a technical term, Dommie?"

Dom stared at him, then turned on Elijah. "Fucking cunt!" he cried. "I knew you were making it up, you little bastard!" Between fits of giggles, Elijah somehow had the presence of mind to duck out of the way of his friend's flailing fists. He snatched Dom's hands, holding them away from himself. Sean and Billy were still snickering in the background.

"The look on your face!" Elijah gasped out between giggles. "Oh, you're too easy!"

Dom couldn't help but laugh along. It was pretty ridiculous, in retrospect. He tried to cross his arms, but Lij was still clasping his hands, so he only succeeded in pulling the kid closer to him, until Elijah's cheeky grin was mere inches away from his own face.

They both stopped laughing. After a moment, they flushed matching shades of pink. Elijah hastily let go, and Dom ducked his head. For once, they were both thinking the exact same thing.

 _What the hell was that?_

*

 _Ring, ring!_

"Hi, you've reached Dominic Monaghan, it's too fucking early in the morning and I've prob'ly got a hangover anyway, so leave a message after the beep."

 _Beep._

"Hey Sblomie, this is Orli. Do you change your message every day, mate? Fucking brilliant. Anyway, meet at the pub at five? Usual gang, same old shit, sound good? Good. See ya later."

 _Beep._

"Lij here. Orli wants to meet at the pub later. Sounds lame to me. Got any better ideas? Uh, call me back, okay?"

 _Beep._

"Dom, it's Billy. Wake up, you arsehole! It's practically eleven AM, the sun is shining, and you didn't drink nearly as much as I did! Fucking lightweight. We need to work on your alcohol tolerance. The pub, five PM. Don't do it for me, do it for Lijah and Sean -- they won't be seeing your ugly mug for weeks, lucky cunts. Ta."

 _Beep._

"Billy again. Orli's another lucky bastard you need to say bye-bye to. Just a thought."

 _Beep._

"It's Lij. Um, I was wondering if you have the phone number for that theater we saw the play at last week? I can't find it. You there? Oh, well, I guess I'll try someone else."

 _Beep._

"Dommie, this is Sean. Wake up and call Elijah before he does something stupid. I think he's planning on spending our last day off as a hobbit-gang driving out to see that actress person. You know, the pants one? Well, you know how he gets these notions? Call him. He might listen to you."

 _Beep._

"Mr. Monaghan, get your lazy arse out of bed already! Lij found Madeleine Sammy's address. Sean and Billy can't talk him out of it, and I think it's too fucking hilarious to say anything. Can you believe that cunt? It's a fucking four hour drive to where she lives! Think the Lady of the Pants is gonna get some Lijah lovin'? Pub, five o'clock, still. Let's discuss."

 _Beep._

"Billy yet again. You won't believe the crazy stunt Lijah's pulling now. Think he's trying to make you jealous? ( _laughter_ ) That's Orli laughing his head off in the background. I was just kidding, mate. Sorry, couldn't talk Lij out of it."

 _Beep._

"Hey, Dom, it's Lij again. In case you haven't heard, I'm not gonna be meeting you guys tonight. I,um, need to think a few things over. Look, I'm sorry, I'll see you tomorrow."

 _Ring, ring!_

"Hello?"

"Sean, it's Dom. What the fuck is Elijah doing _now_?"

*

At some point, it really ought to occur to Elijah that this was insane. Sane people don't wake up on Saturday and think, _hmmm, I'm bored, think I'll drive four hours to spend time with a virtual stranger._

But he had her address, and here he was, standing at her front door with a bottle of wine in his hand at 5 PM on a Saturday. He probably should've called, but that would've meant acknowledging that he was, in fact, insane.

He just stood there for a long moment, his gaze drifting from the doorbell to the wine to his car and then back to the doorbell. He decided that the wine might really be pushing it, so he went back to the car and laid the bottle down on the back seat. He could always come back for it, when the time was right. If the time was ever right.

 _Why am I here?_ he wondered, pushing the doorbell and hearing the low chimes inside. After a moment, the door opened, and Madeleine was there.

 _Oh, right. Because she's a great actress, and she's really attractive._ Elijah smiled at her. _And because I'm scared as shit of whatever happened between me and Dom last night, and I need to show an interest in women to qualify at least as bisexual._

Now where had _that_ come from?

"Hi," he said. "Um, I saw your show last week? We spoke for a minute after?" Praying that his face wasn't as red as it felt, he extended a hand. "I'm Elijah, remember?"

She looked very confused, and he sighed. He no longer had any doubts that his face was indeed a nice shade of pink. After several eternities, recognition sparked in her eyes.

"Oh, Elijah! Right!" Madeleine smiled, but the confusion remained. "Er, how did you find my address?"

 _Swallow. Breathe. Good boy._ "I called your theater and asked." His face wasn't pink. It was scarlet.

"Oh. Okay. I don't want to sound rude, but, er, why are you here?"

Elijah decided that 'scarlet' wasn't the right term. It reminded him of "Gone With the Wind," and that just didn't seem to suit him. 'Crimson' was better. "I'm not sure," he said. Kind of lame, but honest. It would do. "I just liked talking with you, and I thought it might be nice to see you again."

She stared at him for a second. It had finally occurred to him that this was insane, and he seriously considered running back to his car and getting the hell out of there. Then she laughed, and the awkward tension dissipated. "All right, then," she said. "Come on inside."

*

Somehow, Dom found himself in the pub with Billy. He wasn't quite sure how he'd gotten there, but then again, he'd been drinking steadily for a while and wasn't quite sure about anything at this point. He also wasn't quite sure where Billy was -- and, hey, weren't Orli and Sean supposed to be around here somewhere, too? -- but this didn't bother him too much. Less interruptions meant more beer.

Orli and Sean were in the general vicinity of the bar, having a heart-to-heart conversation which probably neither of them would remember by morning. Billy was chasing a skirt, as usual. He was pretty good at chatting girls up, but rarely got any farther. Fortunately, he was too good-natured for this to affect him. Much. Ah, fuck it.

He slid back into the bench across from Dom with a sigh. The latest skirt had abandoned him for a taller, more muscular, less Scottish guy. Well, the Scottish part probably had nothing to do with it. He glanced at Dom, who hadn't budged an inch in at least half an hour, except to transport his glass from the table to his lips and back. Billy wondered if Dom had even noticed his absence.

"How much have you had?" he asked. Dom may or may not have mumbled something into his beer by way of response. It was hard to tell. Billy sighed. "Aren't you going to congratulate me on my latest failure?" Still nothing. Odd. The younger man usually had a variety of pleasantly caustic comments to make on Billy's endless quest to get laid. "Ah, fine, don't say anything then."

Dom wasn't hearing his friend too clearly. _Too much ambient noise,_ he decided. _Maybe another swig of beer would help._ Well, it made sense at the time.

"What're you moping about, anyway?" Billy asked. "Just because your boyfriend went off on his own for a day...."

This got through. "Huh?" Dom asked, setting the beer down carefully.

Billy didn't notice his response. He was staring off at the girl, wistfully. "You know, I'm really jealous of you, sometimes. To have someone look at me like Lij looks at you..."

Dominic was confused. Wasn't it obvious that Elijah flirted with absolutely everyone _except_ him?

Billy gave him an odd look, and then laughed. Dom realized, to his embarrassment, that he must have spoken that last thought aloud. Damn beer. Specifically, too damn much beer.

"I didn't say that he _flirted_ with you," Billy said, when he stopped laughing. "I said that he _looks_ at you. I thought you'd've noticed."

"We're just mates," Dom mumbled.

"Right, and I'm getting laid regularly," Billy scoffed.

"Sure you are. Regularly every two months or so."

"That doesn't count as regularly."

"I know, that's why I laugh at you so much."

"You're trying to change the subject," Billy said, trying to sound severe and failing. "D'you mean to tell me that there's nothing going on between you and Lijah?"

"There isn't. Nothing, I mean."

"I knew it!" Billy crowed, deliberately misunderstanding. "There isn't nothing, so there must be something!"

Dom thought that pouring the remains of his beer over Billy's head might be a good idea, but that seemed like a horrendous waste of good beer, so he gulped it down instead.

*

Elijah and Madeleine had been talking for several hours now, and he was rather enjoying himself. She was certainly attractive, and a good conversationalist to boot. Still, there was something a little off about her. He thought it might be her accent. The New Zealand lilt was very cute, and suited Madeleine well, but it just didn't seem _right_ somehow. He wished he knew what he wanted it to be.

"It's after eight o'clock," she said suddenly. "I don't know about you, but I haven't eaten in a while, and I'm fucking hungry." She smiled.

"Me, too," he agreed. He wasn't, really, but that was because he hadn't been thinking much about food. Now that she mentioned it, though.... And a cigarette didn't sound too bad, either.

"Do you want to go out and grab something?" she asked, standing. They were in her small but cozy living room, comfortably sharing the couch. "Or we can order something in, like pizza or something."

"Pizza sounds fine," Elijah said agreeably. He liked this girl. She was so...down-to-earth. It was such a rare quality in an actress -- or an actor, for that matter. It was the same thing he liked so much about the other hobbits, and most of the cast in general. Especially...

He suddenly knew where that train of thought was going, and squashed it. That wasn't the sort of thing to think about when you're about to have dinner with a pretty girl. And speaking of dinner....

"Oh, I almost forgot," he said. "I've got a bottle of wine in my car, I'll go fetch it while you call in the pizza."

Madeleine hesitated. "Look," she said. "I'm not sure if -- I mean, I don't think we should --" She bit her lip. "I'm having a lot of fun, Elijah, and I really like you," she said gently. "I don't know exactly what you're expecting tonight, but you should probably know that I have a boyfriend."

And he knew what he wanted. "So do I, actually," he said with a smile. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to seduce you, I just think it would be a shame to let such fine wine go to waste."

She grinned back, looking a little relieved. "Sounds good, then," she said brightly. "Go and get it, I'll call up the pizza place. Extra cheese okay?"

"I don't suppose I could get a decent slice of pepperoni out here?"

"Don't be ridiculous, all you have to do is ask! Bloody Americans."

As Elijah went out to get the wine and have a quick smoke, two more interesting things occurred to him. First, he had just told Madeleine that he had a boyfriend. And second, he'd realized what was off about her accent. He'd wanted something more thoroughly British.

What was it, exactly, that made everything click into place? He wasn't sure, but whatever it was, it had done its job. He wondered what he'd ever been scared of. It seemed so stupid now. There was love, and that was that, and it didn't matter whether the person you loved was male or female, and it didn't matter that you couldn't explain it. Lij allowed a grin to spread across his face. Dom was probably jealous right now. Poor Dom. He never realized that he had nothing to be jealous of.

After all, although Elijah might get Madeleine's phone number when he left -- she was good company, and definitely worth talking to -- he didn't have to shag her to prove that he was bi. When you're in love, you're allowed to be exclusive. Sexuality has nothing to do with it.

*

Who the fuck would be knocking on Dom's door at two in the fucking morning?!

 _Not that I had been asleep or anything_ , he admitted to himself ruefully, flicking on the lamp next to his bed. But he'd certainly been trying. Which was odd in itself, because usually when Dom went home drunk, he passed out the second he hit the sheets.

He'd never known that a little conversation could sober a person up so bloody fast. Fuck Billy. Fuck him and his stupid "Elijah looks at you" that was keeping Dom wide awake in bed three long hours after he'd gotten home.

The knocking on his door started up again, reminding him that too much thinking wasn't the only thing keeping him awake at the moment. Which brought him back to the question of who...?

Only one way to find out. Dom sighed, pulled a pair of jeans on over his boxers, and headed for the door. He turned on the hall light and pulled the door open, mentally preparing a suitably scathing remark for whatever arsehole was denying him his not-too-hard-won sleep.

It was Elijah.

Dom's carefully planned verbal assault crashed and burned in his head. He felt his expression softening automatically, and willed it to maintain some semblance of righteous indignation. That wasn't working, so he settled for vaguely irritated instead. "Lij," he muttered. "It's two AM."

"I know."

"Three and a half hours until the van picks us up for Feet."

"I know."

Well, at least Elijah had the grace to look sheepish. Dom sighed. "Come on in, then."

Elijah stepped inside silently. His hands were in his jacket pockets, and he was staring at the ground. Billy's comments were bouncing around Dom's mind, and he swallowed back a wave of bitterness. 'Elijah looks at you.' _Suuuure he does. That's why he can't meet my eyes_.

"So what's up, Lij?" he asked aloud. Not bitter. Not bitter. Friendly, supportive, and _not_ bitter. "The date with the actress didn't go so well?" Oh, screw that.

Well, at least Elijah was looking at him now. Although he sure as hell didn't see anything in that look that would make Billy jealous.

"It wasn't a date," Elijah said, guardedly. "It was just -- oh, I don't know! A random something. Spontaneous." He sighed, and decided that his shoes were suddenly fascinating.

"Almost as spontaneous at coming over here at two in the morning?" Dom asked. This was awkward. They were standing at least three feet apart, his arms folded across his bare chest, Elijah with shoulders hunched and hands still deep in his pockets.

"Almost exactly like that, yeah," Elijah said. Abruptly, he looked up into Dom's face, and grinned.

 _Okay, that was very weird_ , Dom thought, startled. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Elijah replied, but the unnerving grin remained. "Just -- when I went to Madeleine's house, I stood in front of her door and had no idea what I wanted. And just now, while I waited for you to haul your lazy ass out of bed and open the door, I _felt_ almost the exact same way. Like I didn't know whether to laugh at my own insanity or to run away. And I still feel that way."

Elijah's grin faded, but his bright blue eyes -- like a girl's, Dom would tease -- still sparkled. He stepped forward, closing the gap between them. "But this time," he added, almost shyly, as Dom gaped at him, "I think I know what I want."

"Oh," Dom said, and his arms dropped limply to his sides. Elijah's hands found his, somehow, and they just stood there for a moment. Then, without any conscious decision on either's part, their lips met.

 _So_ this _was what I wanted_ , Elijah thought. He deepened the kiss.

 _Oh_ , Dom thought.

It took a while, but eventually they pulled apart. Dom cleared his throat awkwardly. "Three hours and twenty-five minutes until Feet," he muttered. It was possibly the single most inappropriate thing he could've said at that moment, and they both thought it was absolutely hilarious.

*

The alarm woke them up at five AM, far too soon. They felt as though they had just fallen asleep -- which was more or less the truth.

"Time for Feet," Dom mumbled. Elijah made a soft sound of agreement, and snuggled up closer, using Dom's shoulder as a pillow. Dom pressed a kiss into his hair, smiling, then started to gently extract himself from the tangle of Lij-limbs.

"No," Elijah murmured. "Y'know, this is our last day together for weeks. Tomorrow, you and Billy go away to film the bondage scenes, and Sean and I are off to Mordor."

"I know," Dom replied regretfully. "But we really do need to get up. We have to be out of here in fifteen minutes."

"Mph." The Lij-limbs released him.

Dom half-fell out of bed, and grabbed the first pair of jeans he found, while Elijah stumbled off toward the bathroom.

After a few moments of struggle, Dom realized that the jeans were Elijah's. A scrap of paper fell out of a pocket as he pulled them off, and he squinted at it in the dim predawn light. A series of digits. The silly bint had actually given Lij her phone number, then.

Dom snorted, and tossed the paper into a wastebasket. Elijah was always misplacing little things like notes and phone numbers, anyway. He'd never notice, and if he did, he'd probably assume that he'd lost it himself.

Elijah smiled from the doorway, and decided not to mention it. If Billy were there, he'd have felt quite vindicated -- Elijah _did_ look at Dom, all the time, and the softness in his eyes was enough to make anyone jealous.


End file.
